Thursday, March 19, 2015

Blog Slacker - We are home!

We have been home since January 31st now. So about 3 1/2 weeks now. Crazy to think that we have had custody of our children for over a month already. I feel so bad that I was not able to keep the blog going, but when people say that the internet is sketchy in China they are not joking (that and you go into survival mode). Then upon returning home we found our main computer had died. So my blog info which was saved was gone. My already fried brain could not figure out what the user name or password was and honestly I did not have the energy to give it much thought.

Our time in China was nice, we got to see Beijing and visit the Great Wall, an amazing wonder for sure! We went to Zhengzhou where we received our children and then flew to Guangzhou where we finished everything up before coming home. If I said our trip was smooth I would be lying. Adoption trips I believe test you in everything. Patience, Flexibility, Adaptability, Strength, Endurance, and Faith. We relied on prayer a lot. From the start, right up until we landed back at home.

On January 19th we took a bus with many other families to meet our children. At this point we had already spent a day with our son and were excited to be reunited with him. We have yet to meet our daughter. She was still just a picture to us. The night before we received a piece of paper about each child to help us adjust as their parents and make them feel more welcome. There was some info on our daughters paper that to us was unknown and a little alarming. Our son's paper was pretty much what we knew and since we had spent the day with him were feeling pretty okay with it. After arriving to the room where we would receive our children it was full of ready parents, nerves and anticipation was high as children started being brought one by one and sometimes two by two. They would bring the child in and call the child's name and then the parents name. The child would be handed over. The younger ones cried unsure of why they were being handed over to these strangers who looked strange and smelled strange and new to them. Watching the scene over and over, you cry right along with the joyful parent. I found myself tearing yes out of joy for the making of a family, but out of sadness for the child who had no idea what was going on, who was experiencing such extreme loss right at that moment.


And a second attempt at getting this blog post written, lol. I started it as written above and then life and appointments took over. Oh my, lol!

Our children arrived on gotcha day 1 at a time. Our daughter Kya arrived first along with quite a few other children from her orphanage that were being adopted as well. She was the oldest out of them and was helped up the steps by one of the orphanage workers. She came in and acted liked she recognized us, but I am not clear on that for sure. She was very excited to show us a princess purse that she had and its contents. I am asssuming it was given to her as a gift when she left that morning. I was also handed a backpack and a photo book. We all crowded around her as she proudly showed her belongings to her and then we guided her over to a couch. It became very apparent that her walking and balance were more of an issue than we had understood. She was pretty wobbly. She sat on the couch and I handed her the photo album, she looked through it naming all her foster siblings she had been living with for the past year. I was quickly called away to start signing paperwork. While I was signing paperwork Kingston was brought in buy a nanny from his home. He was quickly set in a stroller and had a big smile on his face when he saw us! We got all the needed paperwork done and then moved to a corner of the room to start the bonding and getting to know our children process. We had also brought our 9 yr old daughter and 7 yr old son so the kids were very interested in them as well. Lots of hugs and giggles were given. I learned the mandarin word for potty real quick that day also. When all families had received there children and filled out their paperwork we were allowed to leave. All the families we traveled with who entered that room with empty arms, were leaving with full ones. Some for the very first time of parenting. It was a very special surreal moment and there were a lot of emotions getting back on the bus.

To speed things up some while in China we had our ups and downs with the kids. Our sons bonding seemed to be going fairly smoothly. He is easy going, silly, curious and very social. Loving to everybody in the family, constantly offering a hug or kiss. I think he would get frustrated that we could not speak Mandarin, but he was very patient with us using hand gestures and repeating every english word he heard. The minute he could find someone to speak mandarin with though he chatted their ears off, our guides, taxi drivers, hotel staff, who ever would listen. We hoped it was all good, lol. Our daughter bonded instantly with my husband. She would allow me to be close and show her affection, but would not really give it to me on her own and when something did not go her way Mama was the one who was lashed out at. I know I am not the only mother this has happened to and this is the hard side of adoption. Rejection from a child you have prayed for and loved for so long is very hard to take. I knew this could happen with either kid going into it and knew my job was to keep loving her no matter her reactions towards me. While in China you feel so out of your element also that is so hard for day to day things. So we sort of allowed KC to be the main person to avoid meltdowns if we could, but certain things like hitting or safety issues had to be addressed on the spot and did not always go over to well. The word "NO" was not said to her much I do not think nor was teaching her to control that emotion or behavior. I will report she has not hit me since the San Francisco airport on the way home (pretty sure people thought we forced her to come home as I literaly had to drag her on the plane)! This is huge progress!

Being home for so long now requires its own post. We have been to so many drs appts now with each kiddo and are wading through learning their ins and outs, likes and dislikes. I will try and do another post sooner then later. I will add a bunch of photos, because pictures are fun!

1 comment:

Crystal Kupper said...

Good to hear from you! You're right, there are so many little hard parts that people don't often talk about. Thanks for doing so and I am thinking about and praying for you all!