Friday, March 30, 2012

15 Ways that show Disrespect to your husband.

Since I just got done doing the 31 day prayer challenge over my husband I thought I would post this just following. This list is from the book "The Respect Dare" by Nina Roesner. If you would like to purchase the book go here If you would like to learn more about the author and the Dare itself here Okay onto the list. As you read through you will find yourself probably guilty as charged on a couple. Maybe something you never even thought of. Remember you are not alone in the matter.

1. Ask questions that your really don't want the answer to, but are just pointing out how stupid you think he is, like, "How could you possibly...??"
2. Roll Eyes
3. Interrupt
4. Purse lips and scowl as he contributes his thoughts.
5. Argue without acknowledging his idea.
6. Don't ask questions about what he thinks.
7. Start all questions with "Why did you...?" because that is a "challenge" word for men.
8. Withhold compliments instead of looking for opportunities to build him up.
9. Leave him with a list of things to accomplish when you go somewhere - then criticize him for not getting all of it done.
10. Correct him when he's interacting with the kids - especially if it's his first time doing something. That will stop him from feeling like you think he is a good parent, so he'll stop trying.
11. Criticize him instead of praising him first when you have something constructive to let him know.
12. Expect him to read your mind (like your sisters, girlfriends, and mother can.)
13. Say really helpful things like, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you."
14. Answer for him when he's asked a question.
15. Don't pursue him. And make sure you say, " Not tonight."

Covering your husband in Prayer- 31 Day challenge

"She does him good..." (Proverbs 31:21a)

As we come to our last day of our challenge, which was done on my facebook page, not this blog. I thought, why did I not blog the prayer each day? I am not sure why I did not think about it, but I am going to post the whole 31 day challenge so that if you want to do it on your own it will be available to you. I am thinking about doing this every 6 months. Not that I do not pray for my husband every day, but these are specific prayers that maybe I would over look. Are you up for the challenge? If you do not have a Bible to look up the extra scriptures, go to . I love that site!

Day 1: Pray that your husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before the Lord. Pray that he will guard his heart be developing spiritual disciplines - Bible Reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (2 Peter 3:18;Prov.4:23)

Day 2: Pray that your husband's relationship with God and His word will bear fruit in his life. Pray that he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord. (Prov. 3:7, 9:10; Ps. 112:1)

Day 3: Pray that your husband will be humble and quick to agree with God about his sin. Pray that his heart will be tender toward the voice of the Lord. (Ps. 51:2-4; Micah 6:8)

Day 4: Pray that your husband will grow in leadership skills in your relationship - protecting and providing for you. Pray that he will lead you wisely and love you sacrificially, so that God will be glorified in your marriage. (Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:19)

Day 5: Pray that your husband will be faithful to his wedding vows. Pray that he will have a desire to cultivate your relationship as a sign of his loyalty and commitment to you, and as a picture of Christ's love for the church. (Prov. 20:6; Gen. 2:24)

Day 6: Pray that your husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness, especially the evils of the culture. Pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary, take a clear, strong stand against evil. (Prov. 27:12; John 17:15; 1 Cor. 10:12-13)

Day 7: Pray that your husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex. Pray that his heart will be pure and undivided in his commitment to you. (Prov. 6:23-24, 26; Rom. 13:14)

Day 8: Pray that your husband will work hard to provide for your family, to the best of his ability. Pray that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part of his character-per - persistence, decisiveness strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Rom. 12:11; 1 Cor. 15:58)

Day 9: Pray that your husband handle finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting ad investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord's work. Pray that money will not become a source of discord in your family. (Prov. 23:4-5; Rom 12:13; Heb. 13:5)

Day 10: Pray that your husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions. Pray that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never do anything that he needs to hide from others. (Prov. 20:7; 1 Tim. 1:5, 3:7; Eph. 6:10-12)

Day 11: Pray that your husband will have a humble, teachable spirit and a servant's heart before the Lord. Pray that he will listen to God and desire to do His will. (Prov 15:33; Eph 6:6)

Day 12: Pray that your husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self control. Pray that your sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love. (Prov. 5:15, 18; 1 Cor. 7:3; Song of Solomon 7:10)

Day 13: Pray that your husband use practical skills to build your family and make wise decisions for your welfare. Pray that he will serve unselfishly. (Gal.5:13; Phil. 2:3-4)

Day 14: Pray that your husband will speak words that build you and your family, and reflect a heart of love. Pray that he will not use filthy language. (Prov. 18:21; Eph. 4:29)

Day 15: Pray that your husband will choose his friends wisely. Pray that God will bring him men who will encourage his accountability before God, and will not lead him into sin. (Prov. 13:20; Prov. 27:17)

Day 16: Pray that your husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities. Pray that he will not live in bondage to any questionable habits or hobbes,, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as he yields to the Spirit's control. (1 Cor. 6:12, 10:31; 2 Tim:2:4)

Day 17: Pray that your husband will enjoy his manliness as he patterns his life after Christ and strong men in the faith. Pray for his physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. (Eph. 3:16; 1 Peter 2:21; 1 Cor. 10:11)

Day 18: Pray that your husband will have an eternal perspective- living in light of eternity. Pray that he will reject materialism and temporal values and put GOd first in his life. (Matt 6:33; Deut. 6:5; Eph 5:16; Ps. 90:12)

Day 19: Pray that your husband will be patient and a man of peace. Pray that he will not give in to anger, but will allow the Holy Spirit to control his responses. (Rom. 14:19; Ps. 34:14)

Day 20: Pray that your husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. Pray that he will not entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in pornography. (Prov.27:12; 2 Cor. 10:5)

Day 21: Pray that your husband will learn how to relax in the Lord and, in his greatest times of stress, find joy and peace in his relationship with God. Pray that he will submit his schedule to the Lord. (Neh. 8:10; Prov. 17:22; Ps. 16:11)

Day 22: Pray that your husband will practice forgiveness in your relationship and with others. Pray that he will recognize any roots of bitterness, and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to the Lord. (Eph. 4:32; Heb. 12:15)

Day 23: Pray that your husband will be a good father- disciplining his children wisely and loving them unconditionally.If he is not a father, pray that he will find a young man to mentor in the things of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; 2 Tim 2:1-2)

Day 24: Pray that your husband will have a balanced life- that he will balance work and play. Pray that he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church. ( Luke 2:52; Prov. 13:15)

Day 25: Pray that your husband will be courageous in his stand against evil and injustice, and that he will stand for the truth. Pray that he will protect you and your family from Satan's attacks. (Ps. 31:24; Eph. 6:13; Ps. 27:14)

Day 26: Pray that your husband will discover and live his God-given purpose. Pray that he will offer all his dreams to the Lord and pursue only those goals that will bring God glory and count for eternity. (Jer. 29:11; 1 Cor. 10:31)

Day 27: Pray that your husband will understand the importance of taking care of his body- the temple of the Holy Spirit - for the glory of God. Pray that he will practice self-control by making wise food choices, and get sufficient exercise to stay healthy. (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Cor. 6:19-20, 9:27)

Day 28: Pray that your husband will be a man of prayer. Pray that he will seek and pursue God in purposeful quiet times. (1 Thess. 5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5:16)

Day 29: Pray that your husband will surrender his time and talents to the Lord. Pray that his spiritual gifts will be manifested in his career, at church, and in your home. (Eph. 5:15-16; 1 Cor. 12:4, 7)

Day 30: Pray that your husband will serve God and others with pure motives. Pray that he will obey the Lord from his heart and glorify Him in everything. (1 Cor. 10:13; John 7:17-18; Col. 3:23-24)

Day 31: Pray that your husband will recognize the lies of the Enemy in his life. Pray that his attitudes and actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God. (John 8:44; 2 Cor. 10:4-5)

You did it!! You made it through all 31 days. Definetly give yourself a pat on the back. As much as we hate to admit it often there are days we forget to pray. So if you got through this and prayed for 31 days straight, it will be even easier to continue doing so from now on.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Anguish to Joy

I am not a Debbie Downer I swear. I am not really sure why God put another heavy topic on my heart. I guess somebody out there needs to hear it. Also in light of me starting my new bible study Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted, I do not want to be like Jonah in the way of running from what the Lord has asked me (told me) to do. My son who I believe is wise beyond his years (sometimes) said to me just yesterday. "Mom, whatever God says we got to do it. Then we will get wisdom." My 4 year old knows this, so why do I sometimes run the other direction, when I hear that call, feel that call? Well not this time. I heard it Lord and I am answering it. I will write what is on my heart, what you have laid upon my heart, because somebody must need your message. So here we go, another hard, but in the end joyous, and God teaching moment.

Can I just say that I started this blog last night and was INTERRUPTED or BLOCKED! My computer started loosing battery fast and every time I plugged it in to a wall outlet it would tell me, plugged in, not charging. Really every outlet. I guess that Devil man was bored. Trying to pick on me, that was not nice. My husband with much exploring figured out the problem and fixed it this morning. Well I win I will not stop writing, lol!

So where were we? Anguish to Joy!

Anguish in definition -
Severe mental or physical pain or suffering.

Joy in definition - Happiness; an emotion

Could these two words be any farther apart?

Last year I got to personally witness my anguish morph to joy. (John 16:20) I have for years suffered from different female organ problems (sorry if TMI). I had a hard time getting pregnant with my son, which was done with the help of surgery. My husband and I wanted our kids close together in age, but 4 years after my sons birth we were still waiting. A recent Dr appt in Sept/Nov 2011 revealed that I would have to undergo another surgery to ever have more children. This just was not an option at that time, nor was I sure I wanted to go through a surgery for a maybe. I sort of became angry. Why do some people get pregnant without ever trying, or sometimes they are trying and boom that fast. I wanted more children, love children, but needed to except the information that had been laid before me. Little did I know the trial/miracle I was about to face. In Dec. I started really experiencing some pain. To keep you from all the yucky, TMI, unneeded details I ended up having a miscarriage within a few days of the pain starting. WHAT? I was pregnant? No way, the Dr said it wasn't possible, that I needed surgery. Why? Really? WHAT? My brain was a mess of emotions and questions.

At the same time that this trial/miracle was taking place I had started attending my first ever Bible study. The Shelter of God's Promises by Sheila Walsh. So not only did I have my own circle of prayer warriors praying over me, but I had new knowledge that could not have come at a more perfect time. We has just learned some survival tips when these trials or storms as they can be called come your way:
1. Trust in the Promise, Jesus
2. Keep your gaze on Him
3. Praise Him for the profit that will come from enduring hardships
4. Find reason to be grateful in the midst of loss and pain

Number 4 hit me. Find a reason to be grateful in the midst of loss and pain. What did I have to be grateful for? I had wanted this for so bad, and for so long. I prayed, I prayed hard, my friends prayed, my family prayed. My very real anguish started morphing to JOY! (John 16:20 Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy). I am so serious people. Yes I was sad that I had to go through this, but guess what people. I HAD GOTTEN PREGNANT WITH NO SURGERY! My anguish of loosing a child I never would get to meet, turned to joy and hope for my families future. In his time. I need to trust God. Sheila Walsh said in her study, "We can trust a God who holds the entire universe together to hold us together, even when everything is falling apart. He is the Creator of you and me; and He is also the Sustainer of you and me." He has got this! At a point in my life when I was in anguish, God was there just waiting to show me the Joy!!!


So as some of you know we lost a foster daughter to SIDS in May of 2005. It was one of the worst things I have ever had to go through or experience. Though she was not my child by blood. I raised her for the first 2 1/2 months of her life. I am the one who brought her home from the hospital, changed every diaper, and got up in the middle of the night to feed her. I got to see her first smile and hear her first coo, she rolled over at 2 months. I am the one that took her to her Drs appointments and was there when she was admitted in to the hospital for a small surgery. These are all things a mother does for and with her child. When these things are taken from you in a blink of an eye your faith maybe shook up.

Like most people who go through a loss I did the; Why her Lord? What did I do wrong? This is a dream, a bad, bad dream. How could you let this happen? What could I have done different to protect her? All kinds of what ifs played through my head, over and over. I can honestly say I beat myself up for not just days, or weeks, or even months. Years I tell you, this grief and fear has been in me for years. It was not until this past Jan-Mar 2012 that I have really let go of the fear and grief of loosing that little one. It took me getting involved in a Bible study about the book of James by Beth Moore, to really let go. Can you imagine living with this fear for over 6 years? As a foster parent who takes care of babies all the time this fear was real and in my face a lot. Every time I would welcome a new little one into my house as I watched them grow and develop and get closer to the 2 1/2mo mark, my fear and anxiety grew also. When they hit that 2mo mark it was in full swing, this momma did not sleep much for the next month. I let the fear and anxiety eat me alive for a month. Why? Why did I not pray? Why did I not trust that God had this? My faith had been shaken that evening in May 2005 and I never grabbed back on to it.

When I look back, there are so many signs that God was right there with me the whole time. I just chose not to see or was blinded. The big one was he chose to call her home on the evening we had bible study in our home. Really? We were worshiping the Lord in one room as she passed away in another. Does that seem even possible? We were fellow shipping with 2 other christian couples right in the other room. Is that just a coincidence or do you think God knew we would need the support as he took us through this trial. I did not see it then, but I see it now.

James 1:2-4 says: 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I definetly did not see the joy in going through that trial in my life. I also did not hold onto my faith and let it produce the perseverance. I did not let perseverance finish its work. Instead I let the fear hold on and drag me down James 1:5 goes on to say; If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ASK. All I needed to do is ask? I was pretty sure at some point I had prayed for, begged for, asked for the pain to go away. So why was it still there? Then I kept reading James 1:6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. After I read this a light clicked on inside my head and a rush of emotions went through my heart. I was asking, but I was not believing. There is a difference. You can ask God for anything, he actually wants you too. But, that is a big BUT you must BELIEVE!

Fast forward a little to January 2012 I get the call to pick up a 3 week old little girl to come and live in our home. I prayed on my way to the hospital, "Lord watch over this child that you have entrusted me with, protect her, and help me to raise her knowing you." Like praying for my own children every night, I have added this little one into my evening prayers. She will be 3mo old next week. I can honestly say that the fear and anxiety that I have experienced with so many children (including my own) was not there. It never was there, this whole month of her life. I have let my Faith that God has this, He is in control be first and foremost. It has been so freeing, so uplifting. Not to mention less work then not sleeping and being scared. I am so excited for this new chapter in my life. When I pray or ask you better believe I do it with no doubt what so ever. I know my God answers all, he is always just waiting for the next time I pray and have my time with him. Yes he knows what I need before I do, but he wants me to acknowledge and ask him.